This would be final entry for a while

I"m sitting here wondering why i'm blogging. Sometimes, it seems as if blogging is just such a pretence. We blog so that others can know about us. But don't they already know us? OR rather, we blog so we can show people who we really are, cause apparently when we type/write , we have time to think and therefore, explain ourselves better. I'm getting bored of explaining myself. I guess from now on, i wouldn't be blogging about my life, ( or at least, i'll try not to) but just put on random quotes, or stuff. I don't know. Let me find out the next time i blog.

Plus, i'll have no more internet access tomorrow onwards. Its ok though. It would be nice to disconnect myself from everyone else . Love ya all, see you when i get back.

Chasing the sun

I've been receiving fantastic emails from a friend, and i'm quite surprise that the emails have great wisdom in them. Well, they're not really wisdom. It's more of the fact that he can pick out parts of films and make a lesson out of them, while the words just breeze by me when i watch films.
A bit of dialogue from a film he watched :


‘All a gun does is focus an explosion in one direction. You have a class of young strong men and women, and they want to give their lives to something. Advertising has these people chasing cars and clothes they don't need. Generations have been working in jobs they hate, just so they can buy what they don't really need. ‘

I'm feeling great. No nobody stop me!

I feel happy. It isn't an over-rated kind of jumping up and down happiness. It's a peaceful sort of happiness. Well... i wouldn't even say it's that kind of happiness. It's more of...like a hint of sweet melon scent that appears once in a while in the air. My good friend a.n.t.h.e.a always says to me , ' Don't be affected by what people say about you ' . Well, she doesn't really say it that way, and she's not the only one that i hear that from. There's always this phrase people tell each other , about not being affected by what people say about you. Or not being affected by what people think about you. But lets all be honest now. Everyone IS affected by what people say, or think. Because isn't it built into our systems that everyone wants to be liked or accepted? And then there's this whole other attitude that equates 'Don't be affected by what people say about you' to ' Like me , hate me, i don't care. I am what i am, take it or leave it '. Now, that's just sort of arrogant . Cause having that sort of attitude just makes you seem like you're moulding the whole world around YOU. But then again , if you don't care what it seems, then it doesn't matter does it?

Anyway, i don't even know why i just said all that.

Ok. Anyway, I'm just happy. I believe that in everyone's life , especially from the age of 13 all the way till 22 or 23, each person is prone to behave in extreme behavior at certain points in their life. They get extremely emotional about certain things and if you're in that person's shoes, you really don't see how he/she can act otherwise. It can be extreme anger, or extreme sadness. And mostly, all that extreme behavior, results in deep regret later on because once you're past that stage, you see what a fool you've made of yourself and it's real shameful behavior, and people will always associate you with that, no matter how much you try to change. But it takes a big person, to look past all the same ol faults, and see that yup , " You've change. Even if it's just a bit, but at least you're moving on. "

It's going to be a brand new day.

I've been writing some stuff down, and i guess thinking about certain things. I'm twenty-three years old, and there isn't much i've achieved yet. I had planned to be 'this' or 'that' or to just do things before i hit 30. And i'm really not accomplishing any of the things i've wanted to do. I think the problem is me. We always blame something, or someone else for everything we do or become. We blame God for not giving us the things that other people have, when in fact, alot of the things, we could get ourselves. He did give us the essentials like a brain, the ability to move to get the thing done. We blame our circumstances. At least, i know i do that a lot more so now than before. ' If i only have a job, my life will be better off' ' It's not that i'm fatter, it's cause i'm sitting around much more cause there's nothing to do , that's why i'm fatter' ' I dont have enough time. Maybe if i had more time, if i had less work, i'll do more' Everything that results in who i am, is a result of a choice of my own. Blame no one, blame no circumstance. God gave us free will, so we really have no excuse at all.

So, i'm going to make sure i accomplish some of the stuff i want to do. For now, it'll be juggling, and getting fitter.

I'm BAcccccccckkkk.... at least online. for now.

I'm so glad to be online again. Yes, i DEPEND too much on the internet. How is everyone? I've just arrived in Oklahoma City and am now at Wayne's place. It's 2.29 am now, which means it's about the same time or maybe an hour difference, but in the afternoon over there. It's the first time since i've been online and i'm making full use of it. hehe.

Anyway, i'll be here in Oklahoma with Wayne till 24th of August and then i'll be flying back to Houston. I have to internet access in Houston and i can't get in touch with Leon yet! Where is that boy?

Anyway, my address in Houston ( because some of you are asking Caroline about it ) is

10603, MacKenzie Drive
Houston, TX 77086

I think i'll go sleep now...