Character

Opps. I forgot to add in the little snipet about my character as mentioned in Sushi and Me entry below. There were alot of things to think about with regards to my work ( or the lack of it ), responsibilities to the family and lately, character. I think people ard me don't know the stuff i'm burdened with and i'm really not willing to share it sometimes. I think it's even harder when people you think you can share it with, might be part of what's burdening you as well. It got to a point where i felt too 'depressed' , though i'm not so sure i should use the word lightly, to get up in the morning to go to church. Ironic huh? The one person you think can help you , doesn't seem to be the one you think would do so anymore.

Today i had an interview sorta, and though i shouldn't be so affected by it, i am. It really pointed out to me what kind of a person i seem to everyone, and what sucks even more is that , that character trait, cost me the job. I asked myself deep inside if i had gotten the job, whether i would be happy, but i don't think so . I think i would have done a pretty good job had i gotten it, but i would have to bear the burden of taking on more than i could.

I spoke to my brother's friend online and mentioned how upset i was about the whole incident. And he just said that it's probably cause they didn't know me, and they didn't accept me for who i was. But it bothered me that it was such an issue , because recently someone else mentioned something about my personality that i didn't know i emulated, and i was totally taken aback and disgusted by it. So is tht person the same way then? Not accepting me for who i am. Who am i? Are who we are based on who people think we are? Because i believe that we are so many things, to different people. I think certain people bring out certain things about you.

I think i felt really down and hurt the past week and today because it really stinks when there's a problem with you and it's something you can't really do about it. A part of me wants to tell every single one of them, ' I'm not perfect, and i'm not you, that's why i'm here and you're there. Deal with it.' But a part of me feels that maybe they are right. IT is a problem and it is me.

Mochi and Me ( My character really! )

Met up with Charmaine for dinner, and decided on Sushi. Here's where i add " Rich People " said to the tone of Mr Ed . Ordered Mochi thinking it would be nice to end the meal that way, but it turned out it wasn't Mochi Ice-cream.




Charmaine's disappointed look



Some sort of yellowbean paste inside


Plus, when you order some of the sushi off the menu, u want it that way because it would be fresher ( or the fried stuff that is wrapped in sushi, or on sushi exp.ebi, warm, but here it's still served cold, so to me it felt like all they did was take a plate of what is already on the conveyor belt, just remove the plastic cover, and wait for a period of time before they served it ( just so it seems like they are making it ) . I do like the softcrab roll which was warm when i ate it.



Protest! To non-ice cream mochi, and cold- food-that- we- ordered- that- was- supposed- to -be- warm!

Digression : Rabbit Sushi i made in April for the fun of it. So cute! Can market to kids. ( whoever use my idea for their business better pay me for it ah...copyright infringement ah...)

Hehe...Success....

Remember i said i wanted to take over Sim Lim Uncle's business? Wahahahahahhaa.. I'm not there yet, but there's a first step of success. I managed to hook up the VCR to an external video capture so i managed to transfer the video into my pc, and burn it into VCD! Yeah! BUT , the quality is not as good as i expect it to be, so i'm not sure if it's the Video Capture that's giving me the problem, or it's something else, because there are variations between the two different video tapes i tried to output to 'test' if it was possible.

Well, hopefully i can find out the solution too, but i feel great! There's nothing like a challenge that you can conquer! (* now i don't need to pay $30 bucks for a transsssfffeeeeerr. In your face Sim Lim Uncle! )

Tsk Tsk, out of time.

One night Carol and me went to Tampines to take Neo-prints. There were so many machines, and of course the fancier looking ones seemed more fun. They cost $9 !! Just for a sheet of stickers?? We decided to try it anyway, i mean, it's for fun and it's not like we do it all the time right? So we decided on a machine that looked pretty fun. There were backgrounds that we can flip for the different shots we wanted.

First mistake : Not knowing Japanese. I dont know how the teenage girls do it, but they seem to be able to breeze through everything. Everything was in Japanese and 'kay-kiang' me, thinking that it would be easier to select 'Auto' version did so , and guess what?

Second mistake : Everything had a time limit! Like.. ok, i understand if it's 30 seconds to make a selection, but i think it was much shorter! And we had to figure out all the buttons and what they meant, and look into two different cameras that sync to the beat of Japanese music ( which we didn't understand, but hey , it's rhythm, so no excuses right? )

Third mistake : We basically were rushed through the whole thing, and thought.. ok.. well. at least we can decorate it! It's going to look so fun and pretty! And here's how it turned out.



ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! We paid $9 bucks and all we got to decorate was drawing a squiggly line! That's cause the options for the decorating window were in Japanese, and we hit a button and then a window popped out and there were two options. I assumed one said ' Not done yet' and the other is ' I'm done!' Guess which one we hit...

So we had a sheet of undecorated neo-prints which we paid $9 for! That's 2 meals!

Guess what we decided to do? Actually , it was Caroline's enthusiasm that encouraged me to do it. We took another one, this time for $10. But you know what? We used a machine that i had used before with my cousin. Everything was nicely paced, we didn't feel rushed, and decorating time for neo-prints? Infinite! Or at least until the shop closes , which was what happened. The poor sales girls that had to wait for us to be done. Paiseh hor! But it turned out fun and nice, and you know the $9 we paid for earlier? At least , it didn't spoil our day!

A first step

Today i jogged. I told myself i would jog for an hour at least . By the 15th min i was wondering if it had only been that. Time had passed too slowly! Indeed time passes slowly when you are in pain. I realise i am really out of shape and my stamina! I used to have better stamina than that! I used to compete in races in school, and didn't do too badly when it came to long-distance too. I'm so un-healthy!

Anyway, it wasn't even for an hour that i jogged. But it's a start right? Then i need to do it often and soon i'll be back to my healthy self soon.

Then i went to Sim Lim to get some VHS transfers done, though it was a total waste of time!! Uncle lied to us. I went there with Ed the last time,and he said it would cost $8 for half an hour , one VCD. And then when i went back to do 2 transfers he said $30 ! Then i mentioned that he said $8 the last time, and he denied ever saying it.

"UNCLE! You have memory laspse is it?!!" ( Though i never said it out loud )

But i suppose maybe its because there were two other richer looking people, probably from some company whom he was charging $15 a VCD for, so he had to keep his stand. But it was fustrating cause $15 a VCD was just too expensive and it wasn't even for an hour. PLUS i didn't bring along my handphone, and so i couldn't call Ed to reconfirm or ask if we still wanted it done. So in the end i took back my tapes and walked off feeling cheated cause i had come all the way down for nothing! I didn't even accomplish anything at all! ARGH.

But that gave me the determination that kept ringing in my head :

" Uncle... nvm.. you want to bluff me right.. I don't believe i cannot hook up my VCR to my PC and dump it out into a VCD/DVD! And when i do that successfully, i'm going to start my own sideline and charge $8 for half hour and $ 15 for one hour!!!!!!! "

And so i did some research... and there just might be a way. Only i need to get back my Dazzle hardware. So can Uncle Joseph, or whoever i lent it to please return it to be soon so i can take over the VHS/DVD transfer business from that Sim Lim Uncle ?

First Goal of the Day

I'm suppose to run today. I got my running gear ready, and am all set to go out. The only obstacle : I'm supposed to wait online for Ryan to come on, so my mum can speak to him. Sigh. I've waited about half an hour now , online playing games. I'm thinking, it's just like something like this to happen, just so i can't do what i want. And i know it's some evil force who wants me to remain unhealthy and fat. BUT my will shall prevail, because i plan to run for at least an hour, regardless of what time i head out. Can't wait can't wait can't wait!

I was speaking to my bro's friend online, and he said a good start is knowing you have to start somewhere. So i decided that a short term goal would be to start running more. I mean, something about myself should improve right? And then Dushyant came online, and he asked me why i called myself Fatty and i said 'It's because i'm gaining weight, but i'm too lazy to do something about it. ' And he laughed and he said he's never met a girl who knew all the answers to her problems. And i told him i didn't have all the answers and asked him what to do about knowing the answers but not doing anything about it. And he said 'Action is the key. Not Planning ' And so i said well, i plan to jog tomorrow, and he said the same line again. And so i said ' I WILL jog tomorrow.' At some point i wondered if he is really perhaps Yoda.

Thoughts of the day.

Today i went out with dear Charmaine and we caught a film called Friends With Money.



Initially i wondered if i should pay $9.50 for it, but i think it's well worth the money. I think it's a chick-flick , so i'm not sure if guys would enjoy it if they do watch it. During the show, i couldn't really concentrate, i'm unsure why. But the dialogue is good, and it's a very interesting mix of characters. I left the theatre feeling like it was a pretty good film. ( I mean after all, it opened Sundance. )

Then it was strange cause i went shopping with my friends after that, and then there i was in Topshop, and then Zara, and then suddenly it hit me. I guess it was a gradual thing but then i realised no point trying any of the clothes anyway cause i can't afford any of them . But... i felt sad.. sad that i'm broke. And i think that the movie affected me in some way, like.. i could relate to the character, but i didnt really think much about it. But anyway, i felt lousy. And then i started tearing! Unbelievable. In Zara, there i was sitting with all the other men( who were waiting for their gfs to shop) and i was tearing. And my friends came but dear Charmaine, bless her soul, she couldn't tell i was sad. She thought the aircon was making my eyes red. HAHA!!

I think not having a job is pretty depressing. I think it's bugging me the amount of things i worry about but no one knows about. At times i really feel like such a loser and i only have myself to blame.

Sad! Justice must be served!

I walk out, heading to the ironing board, to iron my favourite T-Shirt that says ' This is the worst day of my life. ' Quote from Napolean Dynamite , a show i GREATLY recommend to anyone. And then i walk pass a table and i see a brochure that says MP4 player and there was this Ipod Nano drawing on it. That was my dad's not so recent deal he got about 2 mths back. An Ipod Nano look alike, black, but it's bought at Sim Lim for a much lower price. Then i instantly felt sad. My poor dad! Worked so hard his whole life, and can't even buy what he wants! If someone works so hard for over 30 + years should be entitled to get what he wants right?? Justice! Where is Justice!? And the same stupid company ....i shant say more...

My poor daddy-o :...( Maybe that's what happens. You have a family, you learn to save, you learn to buy what's second best for yourself... I want to give my dad the best. I'm afraid i won't have enough time to do it.. Please! I know this sounds so unChrist-like, since we should depend on God.. But i want to win TOTO! ( I'm sure most ppl think that way, but i voice it out... )

Oh no.. I'm a Slug.

Today was a horrible day. I think the only reason why i feel that way is because i wasted today. I didn't go out, ( except for dinner with parents) and just tried completing my game. Now the whole day is wasted, and i'm up thinking i should still do something profitable right now, even thought it's 1 am in the morning, so that i can still salvage my day. I should be sleeping really, and try salvaging my complexion. Ok, i've decided, no more games! It's just a waste of time. It should only be played in between when you want a short break.

I shall do 100 sit-ups before i sleep, cause i'm turning into a fat slug.

A Time to Change

I just realised what an annoying little person i am. I seem to misunderstand what people say, their intentions, and really what i should be doing is maybe asking what their intent is in the first place. I think it clears up alot of preconceived notions i have of people. And what i see as a strong will, is stubborness, and if we really boil it down further, it is pride. A refusal to admit that i might be wrong. I need to be more humble. I need to let people know how i really feel about what they are saying so it is cleared up for my own sake. I need to remember that people worry for me, and that i should let them know where i am, where i will be, if i'll be back late. I need to let anyone i'm with, when we're out, know were i'm heading to, if i'm going to check out shoes at the other side, or if i'm just going to be out of 'sight range' so they don't worry and wonder where i am. I know these ought to be common sense, but apparently i haven't been seeing the need of practicing any of the above, resulting in minor 'pek-chek -ness' that is only due to my being on my own for too long, not mixing ard and having more friends, that i've created a Jayne's world of my own, where only her thoughts, behaviours and attitude apply. I think i've been living as if the world revolved around me.. and i finally understand what it means! It's time to break out of my comfort zone, and mingle and finally converse all over again.

An English Lesson

I was out and i saw these English errors! I'm not an expert in the language. I mean, i can't even spell 'garuntee ' SEE!? And this banner is for quite a high class looking restaurant. I cannot take it ....


But this next spelling error is excusable because it makes me snigger when i look at it.



Heee heeeeee heeeeeee heeeeeeeee

It's Carol's Day!

Before the clock strikes twelve, i want to leave a msg for dear Miss Caroline. This pretty lady turns 23 today!

Here's to a girl who always tries her best, is mighty talented in her design, and is wonderful in more ways than anyone will give her credit for. And cheers to her new start at work tomorrow, doing what she enjoys doing and is good at! I'm glad she's a part of my life because it would be mighty lonely without a Caroline !

Solomon Says

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born , and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrance, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew. a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time of peace.

All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.

Ecclesiates 3 : 1-8 , 20 .



The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done; and there is no new thing under the sun.

Is there any thing whereof it may be said. See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us.

Ecclesiates 1:9 & 10

I love it! It sounds like poetry! And how true it is, there is no new thing under the sun. Life is just a repeat of what's happened before.

Sunday

I'm Vain. I want to show off my new skirt and shoes! So retro!
That's the only reason why i'm blogging! Anyway, give me credit for being honest.



And help Eunice Tan with her little 'Mouse Ear' headpieces. And put it on some test subjects. I think it looks cute!

Fun and Games!

Tonight we went to Mind Cafe ! Had only heard about the place once, and thanks to Pei Pei for organising something fun for us last Friday, i'm back there again , this time with Carol and Jo!

!!!


Carol planning her next move.


Jo makes hers...


A Sad Jo :(

But it was a fun night! And time just flew by! We just played 3 games....think of the other games not played yet!

This is one more good place to hang out especially on the weekends ( Friday and Sat , it's open till 3am )

Bloggerton

It seems these days when i blog, i combine a few experiences together. Anyway, here goes.

I went window shopping with Caroline the other day , and got stuff! HOrRORS! I told myself i wouldn't buy anything ( And usually, i dont find anything worth buying) But I got myself shoes that i needed ( Which broke the first day i wore it. sigh..) and a nice skirt ! I didn't think it would be nicely priced, plus, i really like how it looks.


My New Skirt!


Ed and me after blood donation.

Chao Tar.

Actually, the only reason i went in the first place was to try it out. The second time i went is cause of the colored arm band things. The designs used to be varied though with hearts, or smiley faces, cars, but now the arm band is an advertising medium : Give Blood. Whatever happened to things being the way they are, just for the fun of it?

I went to Toys' R' Us last Thursday and saw some really cool stuff! Check out these wooden food sets! Ok, it still looks like plastic, but wait till you see the Sushi set!

I think the pizza set is pretty cool!

Then we see how consumerism/advertising / unhealthy eating is seeping its way into the lifestyles of kiddies.

What every kid wants! ( Well, i must say, i do like how they make the little plastic containers of McNuggets sauces.)

And the magic milk bottle that still facinates me till today.

Now this has got to be one of the strangest toys i've seen so far. A doll that has been fixed with a mechanism that makes her 'kiss' . Weird!

Before

After.

My longest known friend's girl!

My Sweet Pea.

And finally! Quiche! Anyone want any orders? A friend made this for $20 bucks. YUM! Plus, he makes a whole lot of other deserts as well. He's a pastry chef, and Caroline's boy. Can tag me if you want any orders made. Birthday Cakes, Pies, Tarts... He's trying to save up for his wedding.

So if you want to play a part in helping him on his way to marriage...hohoho..