Flashback

The past few days, i've been reminiscing. I had opened a box that i had thrown some things in, because i was clearing up my room, and then totally forgot about it. I saw the little voodoo doll that Ed gave me, and a note that came with an ipod nano he gave me for Christmas.



Seeing the voodoo doll brought back some fond memories. I still remember how he pulled the threads on the doll's head that weren't tied down, and how i thought it was pretty unique. He gave it to be after that, one of the many instances he 'wooed' me. When i met Ed, it was at a time when i had decided that it was ok to be alone, and single. I guess there had been times when i would just talk to God about finding someone who would love me, someone good, someone who was a christian, cause at least we would have one good thing in common. As much as Christians seem to have their thing together, i like to believe that if anything, it is the hardest thing to be, and at the end of the day, when you stand back and look at every single event in your life, or the events to come, when things are not in our control, i like that a greater power, someone who created this universe is in control and would be able to help me or at least understand .

Once chance meeting changed everything. Till today , it puts a smile on my face when i think of how we met, and the many coincidences in our lives before we met.

I love my boy.

...

Sigh.


I feel a 'sigh' that cannot be explained in words. Besides that, I hope if i ever have a son he'll be like Aidan Wong. :)

Stuck in the rut

Today there was a message on being stuck in the rut, and 7 steps on how to get out of it.

It's rare hearing good messages, so i'm going to blog some of them when i hear good ones.


Today's text comes from Mark , chapter 10 , verses 46 - 52 .

In this verses, we read about a blind man called Bartimaeus and how he got healed by Jesus. It says in verse 46 & 47,

And they came to Jericho: and as he went out of Jericho with his disciples and a great number of people, blind Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, sat by the highway side begging.

And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out, and say, Jesus, thou son of David, have mercy on me.

Step 1 : Start taking responsibility for your own life.

We read in verse 46 & 47 , how Bartimaeus was begging by the side of the road. Because he was blind all his life, he hadn't been able to see Jesus and the miracles he did, but only heard of them. He must have heard a lot of talk about this man Jesus, while he's begging in the streets day after day. Finally , there was Jesus walking with his disciples . Bartimaeus decided he was going to do something, and cried out for Jesus to heal him.

We hear about teenagers and even adults today who commit a crime , or do something wrong, only to put the blame on others. A teenage boy in America, steals a car, and crashes into other vehicles on the highway. When he is finally caught, he puts the blame on the guy , who left his key in the car in the first place. No one forced the boy to do what he did, but it was his own choice. This can be applied to many people in the world . There are people who get into trouble and blame their childhood , abandonment for the way they turned out. We have no excuse, we need to take responsibility for our life.

Step 2 : Stop wondering what others will say.

In verse 48, it says

And many charged him that he should hold his peace: but he cried the more a great deal, Thou son of David, have mercy on me.

The people around Blind Bartimaeus told him to shut up as he called out for Jesus to help him. They felt that he was a nuisance, or they didn't see why he should get involved with Jesus.

There are many people today, who when faced with the choice of following God or coming back to Him, are faced with the dilemma of ' My mum is going to flip' or ' My friends are going to think I'm too holy for them' . They start worrying what others would think of them, should they make the choice of trusting God. Trusting God is a choice that will affect them eternally. Sometimes doing what's right , is the hardest thing. We read in the verse however that Bartimaeus decided he wasn't going to continue being blind, or being in the state he's in. He wants a change, and he doesn't care what anyone said.

Step 3 : Stop waiting for ideal conditions.

Most of the time, when we are faced with the option of seeking God, or making some changes in our life, perhaps a new healthy lifestyle, we tend to wait. We think, 'maybe in future, when things get better. ' or ' Maybe after i get a better job. ', ' Maybe after i get married and have kids' , ' Maybe one day when my boyfriend/ girlfriend changes', ' Maybe when i have more money'. Perhaps the truth is, we're too afraid to do anything about it, because we're afraid of what will happen , if we decide to do something about it. Time flies more quickly than we think, and sometimes, we can't keep on waiting. Change is never easy, but we are more likely to regret the things we never did, than the things we did do.


Step 4: Believe that you can change.

In verse 49 & 50 it says,

And Jesus stood still, and commanded him to be called. And they call the blind man, saying unto him, Be of good comfort, rise; he calleth thee.

And he, casting away his garment, rose, and came to Jesus.

Here was this bunch of people, a moment ago, telling blind Bartimaeus to shut up, and the moment Jesus heard his voice in the crowd and called Bartimaeus to come, the same bunch of people, started being all nice and friendly, and told him to go ahead to Jesus. There are people in the world who are going to leech on anything good, when the good times happen, and kick you aside when times are bad.

We have more often than not, hear things like ' You'll never', or 'It's impossible', 'you can't', 'you're useless', or ' it'll never happen.' Perhaps it's been said to us by a close friend, someone you trust, maybe even a family member. Who on earth really decides what we will, or will not do? We have to believe that a change is possible. There are people who are into drugs, or alcohol, gambling, and sometimes the most damage is done when people around them, tell them not to change, or tell them they can't. No one who smokes tells another to stop, or a gambler tell the person next to him at the roulette table to stop gambling. If we feel , we need to change, we need to believe we can change. That's what blind Bartimaeus did. He decided , enough is enough, and he wasn't going to keep on staying where he was. He threw away his garment, perhaps a shawl of some sort that he had been using his whole life as a beggar, and left it behind. It is like a child holding on to his precious blankey or soft toy animal ;a comforting object/ comfort zone. Will we leave our comfort zone in order to get out of the rut we're in?

Step 5: Clarify what you really need.
Step 6 : What do you want God to do in your life?

In verse 51, we see something strange.

And Jesus answered and said unto him, What wilt thou that I should do unto thee? The blind man said unto him, Lord, that I might receive my sight.

Let's imagine this : Here are all these people, who have heard Jesus calling blind Bartimaeus to come forth to him. Some of them are probably helping/leading him to Jesus. It is clear that Bartimaeus is blind. He could have been moving his hands around, walking with caution. Why did Jesus still ask such an obvious question?

Bartimaeus needed to know what he wanted changed in his life, and acknowledge the need for change, in order for him to ask for help in the first place. Most of the time, we know what is wrong in our lives, the changes that we need to make. Perhaps there is a need for us to change our temperament. Maybe we are rude to the people closest to us, our parents. Perhaps we are lazy, or we keep procrastinating. Jesus wanted Bartimaeus to think about what he needed, and make that internal desicion of change. It's like how, i used to wonder, why we need to pray and talk to God, when God already knows what we need, or the problems in our life before we even ask him. We actually asking, verbally asking for help, it helps not so much God to understand, or listen to us, but it helps US know that we are lacking , and we need help. We learn more about ourselves, when we actually do something about it. It's like seeing your child trying to reach for a cookie on the shelf. You want your child to ask you, so that he/she learns that they can count on you for help. You want to teach them to ask for help.

Bartimaeus understood that Jesus was Lord, and so he asked Him to heal him.

Step 7: Claim your victory.

In verse 52 ,

And Jesus said unto him, Go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole. And immediately he received his sight, and followed Jesus in the way.

Sometimes, even though we succeed, or are on the way of a better self, we get discouraged because change is never easy. Maybe when we succeed, we feel that it's prideful to be happy about it. We need believe in our choices, and not be discouraged by people, who feel that the change isn't good enough, or it has made you a different person. Bartimaeus's faith healed him. He believed that Jesus was the true Lord that could heal him. Prior to that however, he decided that he wanted to get out of the rut he's in. He decided he didn't want to be blind anymore, and did something about it. There is no shame in victory.

Ok, that's all. I don't remember much about the last point, so i think that's what that verse meant.

Today l learnt about a friend's wife who had passed away. Today i was quite a bitch to a close friend. Today i had a migraine.
A moment ago, before i started on this blog, the events of the day, of what i've heard from the preaching, the news, and the argument, got me a bit worried. Just one thought came to mind. I wonder how my life would turn out in future.

Jonah

Last Sunday there was a message on Jonah. It's probably one of the most easiest read in the bible about a man who fled from God, only to be brought back to do his will. But this past Sunday, i learnt something new about the story, and i guess i never really understood it before.

Well, to name the points of the message, it went something like this:

Jonah was a prophet, commanded by God to go to Nineveh, to preach to the people living there about their sins, and to repent. The people of Nineveh, were very wicked people, and so Jonah, not wanting to head there, went the opposite direction instead. He actually got on a ship that was moving in the opposite direction, and he paid to get on board and went to the bottom of the ship, and hid/slept there.

A HUGE storm woke him up, and the sailors on board were freaked out because of the terrible storm that they were facing. They had never encountered something like that before, and so began to cast lots, to sort of ask the powers to tell them, who/what was causing the storm, for their lives to be saved.

The lot fell upon Jonah, and they were so shocked they asked Jonah who he was, and why he had brought this 'bad luck' upon them. And so Jonah basically told them that it was the Lord Jehovah that was doing this. By saying that, he had basically also made the association that he was a Jew and a follower of God. Finally in order to stop the storm, they had to throw him off the boat.

Well, guess what? God sent a big fish to swallow Jonah. Now, some people say that big fish , is probably a whale, BUT, in the greek text, it just says 'BIG FISH' so well, who knows?

Finally , the story goes that Jonah got spit out onto Nineveh when he finally decided that he was going to stop running and start doing what God wanted.

In Chapter 3 of Jonah, we see that he starts warning the people.

It says :

And Jonah began to enter into the city a day's journey, and he cried, and said, Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown.

Thats all he says. He doesn't say anything else about repenting, or why they were being punished. And the amazing thing was, the wicked people repented , even the king of the city. That happened really quickly too. Who would have thought that they would have repented so quickly and easily.

This next part, i learnt on Sunday :

In chapter 4 , Jonah was pissed. You know why he was pissed? He was actually angry that the people repented.


It says in Chapter 4, and verse 2&3 :

But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was very angry.

And he prayed unto the LORD, and said, I pray thee, O LORD, was not this my saying, when I was yet in my country? Therefore I fled before unto Tarshish: for I knew that thou art a gracious God, and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repentest thee of the evil.

Therefore now, O LORD, take, I beseech thee, my life from me; for it is better for me to die than to live.

Jonah was giving his reason for running away the first time. He said that, he knew God was going to forgive them, and he was upset because they were a wicked people.

Jonah was a prophet, and had a reputation. He didn't want to be seen as preaching to save the wicked Gentiles because Jonah is a Jew and they were Gentiles.

And so God asks Jonah, what right he had to be so upset? And so Jonah decided to just be upset and head into the city and brood over it.


Jonah 4 : 4 & 5 :

Then said the LORD, Doest thou well to be angry?

So Jonah went out of the city, and sat on the east side of the city, and there made him a booth, and sat under it in the shadow, till he might see what would become of the city.

And then you know the sun came up, and the weather was so hot, and so God made a plant grow where he was, so that the plant could shelter him.


And the LORD God prepared a gourd, and made it to come up over Jonah, that it might be a shadow over his head, to deliver him from his grief. So Jonah was exceeding glad of the gourd.
(Jonah 4 :6)

And then, God destroyed the plant.

Jonah 4 :7&8 :


But God prepared a worm when the morning rose the next day, and it smote the gourd that it withered.

And it came to pass, when the sun did arise, that God prepared a vehement east wind; and the sun beat upon the head of Jonah, that he fainted, and wished in himself to die, and said, It is better for me to die than to live.

And so Jonah got so upset again, he wished death upon himself. And so God chides him.

Jonah 4: 9 ,10 & 11:

And God said to Jonah, Doest thou well to be angry for the gourd? And he said, I do well to be angry, even unto death.

Then said the LORD, Thou hast had pity on the gourd, for the which thou hast not laboured, neither madest it grow; which came up in a night, and perished in a night:

And should not I spare Nineveh, that great city, wherein are more than sixscore thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand; and also much cattle?

Jonah's anger was misplaced. Here he was , being SO upset over a plant that had sheltered him and died; a plant that he did not labour on or plant, something that was so perishable. But yet he was not concerned over the souls of thousands in the city of Nineveh, who ' cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand ' . Basically what that term means is that, the people were in sin so much, that morally they found it difficult to tell what was right or wrong anymore.

I thought it was a wonderful truth to learn about God's grace. I'm sure all of us at one point or another have been living in some sort of sin. And i think many of us will feel that we're not doing anything wrong. See how in the past , premarital sex is wrong? Today it's a lifestyle, and not many think it is wrong today. What about smoking, or drinking? An unhealthy lifestyle? Drugs? Or people with Aids? Gambling? Even playing a bit of majong, betting, buying 4D. Sure, even though we can say , in comparison to murder or buying 4D is not as bad as gambling your life savings away, or social drinking is not as bad as being an alcoholic right? That's what most of us would say right? That's what God meant about how the people of Nineveh couldn't discern between their right hand or their left. In all honesty, if no one came up to tell us what we do is right or wrong, we wouldn't know the difference. It's about our value system , and thats why parents tell their kids when they're young to do this, or not to do that. I think i'm digressing.

Well, anyway, that's what i learnt. That God is merciful, unlike men.